The 5am doomscrolling that changed my life, forever!

Things rarely go as planned in life, and that’s a good thing! Time and again, I have had to make big decisions in life that didn’t sound sane to others (or even to myself) and yet it all worked out. Today I share one such life story where I followed that tiny glimmer of hope and it changed my life. Forever!

On that morning of August 2020, the clock displayed 5:00, as I whiled my time away doomscrolling. Wondering, what next? 

I had built a good life in Chicago. I had built a great resume, a decent portfolio, even made some nice connections. I was so close to applying for jobs on OPT for some more experience before making big decisions but March of 2020 had other plans. I was back in India for the last two months of my degree due to Covid-19 restrictions and finished the classes online.

That August dawn still covered in darkness made me question - was all that 4 years of effort worth it, when the outcome I had hoped for didn’t pan out and was definitely not in my control? Should I have gone for all those social nights I had said no to and instead worked on projects for a future that never came? Should I have spent fewer sleepless nights before the college critique weeks, perfecting my project? Should I have obsessed less over a shining resume and just sat longer in the Millennium park, enjoying the sun?

A photo of Karishma lost in her thoughts against the little glimmer of sun at dawn.

Just when my jet-legged self was about to close the screen, I came across a post that read something like:

“An Agri-tech start-up is looking for a product design consultant as they pilot their new product that serves farmers in India. Work in the social impact space in the heart of India, in Madhya Pradesh”

So many thoughts rushed in my mind:

“I had presented a project at the Museum of Moderm Art (MoMA), Wee Grow, in the agri-tech space, could this be a good place to again take my entrepreneurial project forward?”

“While taking professor George Aye’s class in Chicago, I was so inspired and had sworn to myself, I would some day work in the social development sector. Was this it, my chance?"

“Heart of India, in Madhya Pradesh, I might get to travel and work with farmers, so exciting!”

My groggy eyes widened, I filled in the application form, wrote a cover letter on why I am the one they need, sent out a shining resume, hit submit at 5:45am, and without a second thought went to sleep.

Next day I heard back. Soon got on an interview with Achint Sanghi and Simeen Kaleem (not knowing then that they would become an amazing team, and now, friends and mentors for life). As a keen observer of people, during the interview, I could see and gauge from Simeen’s warm smile that she was already impressed with me and in her mind had already welcomed me to the team. What a boost to my confidence when a leader had so much trust. Achint, on the other hand, had that stern poker face, no clue into his thoughts. I wondered if he might be a skeptic (he clarified later he was also quite impressed on the call, I still doubt it haha) but that feeling grounded me to embrace a learning mindset while still putting my best foot forward.  

Next email from them, I was in! I was thrilled. I swear, I danced a little. 

I joined the team with a lot of curiosity, and a whole lot of questions about their work-

What is the strategy for this pilot?

Why only these crops?

How do farmers benefit?

The founders loved my enthusiasm, healthy skepticism, audacity to question the norms, and the passion for deep research integrated with design. And eventually, the consulting experience turned into a beautiful two years long journey at Gramhal. So many learnings in my time there with some life changing ones, which I might share some other time.

A screenshot of one of the earliest emails from Vikas, co-founder of Gramhal. I had saved this as a personal reminder to continue being curious, ask questions, and share ideas.

From this experience I learned a few things:

1. In life, one must not focus on the outcome, which is rarely in their hands. It is important to focus on just doing things with an intention while enjoying the process.

2. I made a rule in life - no more 5 year plans - because ‘jab plans jaye paani me, all you can do is go with the flow of that paani' (When water floods over your plans, all you can do is swim with the current). 

3. Decided to just look at life 3-6 months at a time, almost like a design sprint, what new learnings can I gather and what mistakes can I repurpose to design a path further?
   

I recently came across an article “Stop Confusing Your Dreams with Your Goals”, written by Nir Eyal and Jasmine E where they talk about a framework called WISE goals instead of SMART goals. As I read the article, I reflected on my own life experiences which taught me a similar philosophy, as the article points out, your goals should be WISE - W -Within your control, I - Ignites new Skills, S - Specific and Substantial, E - Enough to have felt like the time was worthwhile. 

So let’s be wiser instead of smart, and follow those tiny glimmers of hope, who knows what you might discover.